Who WAS That Naked Man?

Sometimes it rains in southern California. When it does, I prefer that my wooden patio furniture is moved out of the rain.

Before you accuse me of being overly anal, I do not bring the table and chairs inside but pull them closer to the door away from the edge of the patio. Even though my patio is covered, it still manages to get nice and wet when it rains.

Twice in the past five days, I have gone to bed only to be woken by the sound of pouring rain around 4:00 AM. When this happens, I try to just turn over and go back to sleep. These past two times however, my mind has wandered to my patio furniture.

Just like the episode of Andy Griffith when Opey is worried about "those dogs out in that field" when a thunderstorm creeps up, I too am concerned about my getting-wetter-by-the-second outdoor furnishings.

What's a man to do? I cannot just let my $50 Ikea table get soaked, so I get out of bed and go outside to move it out of the rain. In my middle-of-the-night frame of mind, it makes perfect sense to me to walk out there just as I am: naked. Who is up and outside at 4:00 AM anyway? Luckily for me, noone.

So, if you are driving around in the middle of the night in the pouring rain, cruise on over to Newport Landing. There's a good chance it might be raining more than cats and dogs. It might be raining men!

Hallelujah!

I Want My GOP

Article IV, Section 4 of the Consitution states:

"The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence."

As we all are aware, we are being overrun will illegal aliens (not undocumented citizens or immigrants). In response to the patriots (the Minute Men project) who sacrificed their own time to monitor the border earlier this month, our "conservative" President had this to say:

"I'm against vigilantes in the USA. I'm for enforcing law in a rational way. That's why we have a border patrol, and they ought to be in charge of enforcing the border."

It's obvious to everyone, there is a problem. It was obvious to the Founding Fathers that there could be problem.

What's my point?

We turn a blind eye to Constitutional violations by our elected officials, yet encourage them to read things into the Constitution that are not there (Algore's living-breathing Constitution theory). Look for yourself.. see if you can find an establishment for a Department of Eduction, Agriculture or any of the numerous other Departments of spend, spend, spend. Where is the Social Security entitlement? The Medicare clause?

Where is the Republican party of Lincoln? The party of the Civil Rights movement? (what?? it wasn't the Democrats leading the charge for civil rights?) Where is my Grand Ol' Party?!

In 1773, thousands of Americans boarded tea ships and threw the cargo into the bay. We celebrate those Boston Tea Pary participants as patriots.. freedom fighters. If that happened today, they would be called terrorists.

CNN.com - Has Cookie Monster given up sweets? - Apr 7, 2005

This is funny in a sad way..

CNN.com - Has Cookie Monster given up sweets? - Apr 7, 2005

When I turned 4, my cake was a Cookie Monster cake complete with chocolate-chip cookies in his mouth. I do not think it would have been the same had he had something resembling a Thanksgiving cornucopia protruding from his mouth.

Dónde está el blogger

Wow! Have I really not written anything since Wednesday? The past week has been a whirlwind of activity (at least that is my excuse) and it has just slipped by me.

Can you believe that it is almost May? I have got three deadlines for the first week of May and I just do not see how I am going to make it.

I do not have anything real insightful to say, so I will just recap this week's activities for my own benefit.

On Monday, we had to let an employee go. This was the first firing Randall and I have had to do so we were both a little nervous about it (me more than him). I never really get nervous so this was a totally new emotion for me. As Randall is the elder, I deferred to age and wisdom and let him lead the conversation offering feedback along the way. Actually, it was a good thing he did most of the talking as I was a little bitter about the whole thing. This was (and still is) a great opportunity for the right person and we were fooled into believing in our now former co-worker. Live and learn.

Thurday (or was it Wednesday), Lori had her eyeballs reshaped, sliced and diced. Now we will all be able to admire her pretty face (sans glasses) every minute of every day. During the evening hours, Doug (good), Shannon and I partook in un-happy hour at Acapulco (a local Mexican eatery). While we were dining, Chi's boyfriend Daniel called and invted me to Myrtle Beach for 3 fun-filled days of golf, adult beverages and great food with him and 20 of his closest friends. Here's the bad part.. it's next week! This was a tough decision to make, but I cannot go. The previously mentioned deadlines have me up against a wall and jetting off across the country right now is out of the question. Daniel is a super nice guy and it would have been a great time.

Friday night, Jaclyn and I met Anthony and his girlfriend Sierra in Dana Point at Hennessey's Tavern. Beforehand, Jaclyn and I dined at Peking Dragon Chinese restaurant. It was delightful evening.

Showing everyone why he is indeed "good", Doug joined Randall and I at our office Saturday morning to help us do some fine tuning on our Windows Small Business Server. Let's all give it up for Doug! His valuable assistance saved us several hours of headaches and got us going in the right direction. Randall and I certainly look forward to no more off-site mail hosting.

Saturday night, Jaclyn and I joined Doug and Shannon for Los Angeles Orange County Angels of Anaheim (whatever they are called) baseball. For whatever reason, the owner of the Angels thought that changing the name to Los Angeles would bring more "prestige" to the team (I guess winning the World Series was not enough). In the meanwhile, the team still plays in Anaheim which is 35 miles from LA. Anyhow, the Angels won and we all had a good time. Afterwards we stopped at Skosh Monahans for a nightcap.

Jaclyn and spent a busy (albeit leisurely) morning exploring Balboa Island and ferrying over to Balboa Village on the peninsula. We then had a enjoyable lunch at Napa Valley Pizza and Pasta.

Whew.. quite the social calendar. It was nice to have some enjoyable leisure time between working hours.

More Karaoke Madness

Where are my manners? I simply forgot to mention that we shared another night of top-notch karaoke action last Saturday at Durty Nellys. In attendance were Jaclyn, Good Doug, Chi, Jaclyn's teacher-friend Jamie and her husband Chad (and yours truly of course). Notable absences were Lori and Shannon. Lori was participating in a night dive (she's a scuba diver) and Shannon is still MIA.

Once again we had premium seats near the front so not one single sour note could be missed. In true rebel fashion, I brought my own flask with me to avoid the high cost of restaurant Jack and Coke. The thrill of sneakily pulling the flask from my pocket (or Jac's purse) and pouring a little bit of "Grandma's Medicine" into my soda while the waitress was not looking was such a high that I did not even need to drink it.

Adding to the excitement were the heavily intoxicated rugby boys at the table behind us. Luckily they sang a few drunken numbers that noone enjoyed but themselves, and then hit the road. Do women find these types of manly men attractive?

To make the evening complete, we were treated to one of Chi's special, three-martini, chair dances. :-)

Life.. live it.

CNN.com - Some see Virgin Mary in underpass stain - Apr 20, 2005

Sigh..

CNN.com - Some see Virgin Mary in underpass stain - Apr 20, 2005

When the pope or a statue isn't handy, they'll worship a stain on the wall. I had better start paying closer attention to the various stains I happen upon.

Starbucks Proxy Blog

I am posting this on behalf of my sister, Susan Kollig:

The other day at Starbuck's, somebody ordered a:

Non-fat, no sugar, vanilla, extra-hot, grande latte with no foam

That was the longest drink order I ever heard. What was really funny is that the girl who ordered it was about 10th in line and the barrister, when repeating the order, had to yell to be heard. Then, when the order was ready they repeated the order again.

Open Mic Night

Last night I attended open-mic night at the Gypsy Den in Santa Ana with my new friend Anthony and his girlfriend. Ok, maybe he's not at the "friend" status yet but he is nice guy. I had no intention of being anything other than a casual observer but Anthony had signed me up before I had arrived.

If you are unfamiliar with open-mic, the process is pretty simple. Hoards (or maybe just a handful) of musicians of various skill levels bring their favorite instrument to the bar (in this case a coffee shop but they do serve beer) and sign up to perform a song (you must play original music - no covers). You then proceed to sit through varying degrees of bad songs while anxiously awaiting your turn to be a star. When your name is called you take the stage, mumble a few words into the microphone, and then play your tune. Afterwards, you go back to your table and wonder how long you should sit there while others play their songs (it's considered somewhat rude to just leave right away).

So this is the position in which I found myself last night. I was not prepared to play so when they called my name and Anthony slapped my back and told me to go for it, I had to think quickly. If you know me then you probably know that I hate most of my original songs so I had to think fast.

I decided to whip out a song we used to play in GhostTown (my old band) called "Alabama". It's a bit of a honky-tonk sounding tune and was in direct contrast to the low key music others were playing but my job in life is to stir things up, right?

All in all, the song seemed to go over fairly well (I'd like to think it was more than a polite golf-clap). It felt really good to sing again in a non-karaoke situation. In my mind, there is no question what I was put here on this Earth to do. It's too bad that you can't pay the mortgage doing what I was put here to do.

Anthony's song was good. He seems to be a good songwriter and has a great voice as well. We even talked of hitting up another open-mic last this week.

Is this the beginning of another musical journey for me? I don't know, but maybe it's time.

If the walls in the room could talk..

Today is Sunday and I am at the office... sweating like a fat woman at closing time of an all-you-can-eat buffet. The building management does not turn on the air conditioner on Sundays so dedicated guys like me come in and sweat a few pounds off.

Yesterday we upgraded one of our machines to Windows Server 2003. Today I am installing the necessary software to support our development effort.

Have you ever been lied to? Not just a "little white lie" but a big, fat, disgusting, pus-filled lie? I'll never understand why some feel it necessary to decieve others especially when the possible negative ramifications are enormous.

I should get back to sweating. I've got tons to do.

If the walls in the room could talk, I wonder if they would laugh?

Interesting Study

This evening, I was numbing my mind with Brian Williams and NBC Nightly News while on the cross-trainer at the gym.

An "interesting" study was mentioned regarding the small percentage of non-white, non-hispanic (i.e. African American or 'black') minority players in Major League baseball. This seemed to be a major cause for concern among some in the black community.

Is anyone in the white community concerned over the small percentage of white players in the NBA? Or the shrinking number of white players in the NFL?

Why are these kinds of 'studies' still necessary? Will we forever be programmed to try to find racism (or a problem) in every aspect of American culture?

Perhaps the "inner city youth" mentioned in the story just do not like baseball (and who can blame them). Is it possible THAT is why they are not chomping at the bit to play the game? One would think that it is easier to fasten a hoop to a pole on the side of the street than find an open space to hit a baseball... in the "inner city".

I would like for NBC Nightly News to focus on the real problems that face the inner-city youth: illegitimacy and the breakdown of the two-parent family. Don't hold your breath waiting for that one.

Casting It Out and Reeling It In

We lost a customer. They emailed me this morning to let me know they were going to use a different product.

For me, the source of real frustration is the fact that they did not choose to purchase training or consulting and decided to implement themselves thus decreasing their chances of success right from the start. To make matters worse, they were using the very first, unpatched version of a new release and had found program bugs that have since been addressed.

We really went as far as we could to ensure their satisfaction and were under the impression (albeit false) that things were rolling along smoothly.

I suppose we lose customers on a regular basis. The key to survival is to gain two new customers for every one that you lose. However, this one is a little tough to swallow because we really put in tireless effort to make this one sucessful and we failed.

Casting it out, reeling it in.. living on blind hope again.

Einstein, Where Are You?

It's all how you write things. I recently discovered that if one (well, me) does not write a math problem down in a formula, one can come up with really, really wrong results.

For example:

x = (6*6) + (12*3) + (3*3) + (3*3)

The correct answer is 90.

However, if one were to write it like this:

6*6
12*3
3*3
3*3

.. one may be tempted to add the columns and then multiply:

(6 + 12 + 3 + 3) * (6 + 3 + 3 + 3)

This is the exact reason that the square footage of my hallway is 90 and not 360.

Don't Push Me 'Cause I'm Close to the Edge!

I'm about to lose my head!

Today has been nuts. Unbelievably nuts.

I went outside to try and clear my head and I could swear my brain was ringing from information overload. As I sat silently on the steps, I noticed there were two or three songs playing along in there all at the same time. The lyrics and melodies were all blending together into one Whilcotown tune.

Additionaly, I could hear the churning of four top-priority work issues multi-tasking away in the background. But it was that old-time, knocking-engine kind of churning. Is that an oil leak I hear in there?

How does one manage without losing it?

How does one achieve that John Green level of inner-peace?

CNN.com - Earth's "oldest thing ever" gets viewing - Apr 9, 2005

More comedy from the scientific community..

CNN.com - Earth's 'oldest thing ever' gets
viewing - Apr 9, 2005

Does these people really think the Earth is 4 billion years old? Does anyone? I certainly do not.

The Pain In My Head

Ughh. My head has been hurting since yesterday morning... one of those stiff-neck, everything-feels-real-tight kind of headaches.

The good news is that I believe I have finally chosen a hardwood for my floor project. Hopefully, the installer will give me a reasonable quote so we can get this thing underway. I feel like I should be doing it myself but my "real job" is just consuming too much of my time and I need nothing else to worry about at this moment.

After this, it will be time to pick out some new carpet. At that point, I can kick back and say that the remodeling is OVER (well, for now). I'm sure I'll get sick of the bathroom tile soon. Maybe I'll move before it gets to me.

I should post some before and after pictures when everything is done. The change has been quite drastic. Instead of "Grandma's trailer" (Jac's words - not mine), I am getting closer to my sleek, contemporty, swinging bachelor-lounge dream (ok, not a dream but it sounded good).

Side-note: remember that episode of Andy Griffith where Howard Sprague moves into his mom's house after she re-marries and he redecorates it to fit his pseudo-hip-bachelor lifestyle? That's how I feel, only cooler. BTW, it's episode #246 - "The Wedding" if you are interested.

Last night Jaclyn and I enjoyed some wonderful sushi (and a trendy atmosphere) at Mari Sushi in Costa Mesa (corner of Harbor and Adams). Afterwards, we enjoyed fine wine and good conversation with Chi and at her fashionable Laguna Beach apartment.

I should get to work.. real-life calls.

Anniversary Dinner

Last night, Jaclyn and I recreated our first date by going to Habana for dinner. I guess that is as far as the re-creation went though because we sat at a different table and ordered different items. However, the two young ladys sitting next to us ordered the exact dinners we ordered on our first date. I wonder if they were on their fist date? Did we order the traditional first-date Habana meal and just not know it?

Three years ago, we left the restaurant and went to the Kitsch Bar and the beach. This year we came home and watched some MTV show about some girl getting plastic surgery so she would resemble Tiffany Amber Thiessen.

It was kind of a sad story actually. She was a cute girl and actually did look like the actress but was a little on the heavy side. Her goal in life was to look like Ms Thiessen, pose for Playboy, and become an actress. All of this was to be achieved via the miracle of plastic surgery. We were treated to footage of her plastic surgery and the recovery afterwards. She appeared to be in immense pain but that was ok because she was getting closer to her goal of looking like Tiffany Amber Thiessen, posing for Playboy, and becoming an actress. Did I mention what her goal was? Tiffany, Playboy, actress.

Today is going to be a nice - the weather is picture-perfect southern California. I think I'll go have a cup of coffee and figure out how I am going to enjoy the day. God knows I need a relaxing weekend.

More Congressional foolery..

Is this beyond stupid or what?

CNN.com - Congress may extend daylight-saving time - Apr 7, 2005

This provides more proof that the average intelligence of our elected officials is below that of the science-fiction Java man. Perhaps they will also mandate the opening of daylight manufacturing plants around the country.. wind and solar powered of course.

Shut Them Down

"I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on the objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." - James Madison

Citizens Against Government Waste

Your Wait Time Will Be... 9 Hours

I just heard on the news that the average wait time to view the Pope's body is 9 hours. Why would anyone wait in line for 9 hours to view a body that wasn't Elvis Presley's?

As Time Goes By..

Today marks three years of dating bliss for Jaclyn and me. Boy, time sure does fly by. It is amazing how a great relationship can be built upon the love of food, Seinfeld, and Phil Shane. Ok I admit it goes deeper than that, but that is our little secret. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, there is noone I would rather share my bread-maker bread with than my little English professor (even if she refuses to use a red pen).

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. Everyone say happy birthday to William Aaron Ledbetter! 68 years ago, the little town of Tula Mississippi (you won't find it on a map) welcomed the future father of yours truly into the world.

My Dad was a cute little kid. Looking at his 1st grade picture, you will see a freckle-face boy wearing overalls. It is interesting to wonder what he was thinking at the time the picture as taken and if he had any idea where his life would lead him.

Bill Ledbetter is a good man, a good father and a picture-perfect grandfather (I guess it's hard to be a bad grandfather). The many hours spent together throwing baseball and football, shooting basketball, going to "Simple" Hardware or yelling at each other all helped mold me into the somewhat-decent and mildly-successful man I am today (some may not agree with that assessment).

Soooo.. last night Jacly, Carly, (good) Doug and I went to Taleo's in Irvine for dinner and adult-beverages. If you have never been, I highly recommend it. The service is excellent and the food even better (albeit a little pricey... $9 for guacamole!?). Our server (Jeremy) had this deep, radio-announcer, check-out-my-huge-pecs kind of voice. It was quite difficult listening to him praise the nightly specials without this ridiculous smile on my face (I think Doug just had to look down to keep from laughing). I like to think that the sense-memory of his voice only helped to enhance the quality of my carnitas.

CNN.com - Red ink falling out of favor with teachers - Apr 4, 2005

Now I've heard (or read) everything.

CNN.com - Red ink falling out of favor with teachers - Apr 4, 2005

I wonder if any of Jaclyn's students are suffering from the trauma and stress of her red pen?

This could one day be like the Lord of the Rings. The red pen represents the sword of Elindel which was broken and now reforged and can only be wielded by the one true Queen.