Click It or Ticket

If anyone is unfamiliar, there is a nationwide seatbelt program currently underway called "Click It or Ticket!". There are billboards and both radio and television advertisements promoting this nifty, cool, hey-it-must-be-ok-because-it-rhymes initiative.

I am sure you can figure out what it is: if you are caught unbuckled while driving your vehicle, you are subject to a fine. Additionally of course, this gives the police just-cause to search your car because you are "breaking the law".

(side note: when seat belt laws were first introduced, we were told that they would NEVER be used as a reason to be pulled over. Now we have seatbelt roadblocks. It's not unlike how your social security number would NEVER be used as a means of identification.)

Why the Federal, state or local government feel that it is any of their concern regarding my seatbelt usage is beyond me. Of course the government has been "invited" into our lives so many times before (in the form of higer taxes, welfare programs, federal education system, etc..) that they feel one more intrusion into our personal lives will not bother us. The sad thing is that most just stand to the side and accept it. It is hard to blame them. What can one do about it?

I am almost positive that if you tell a policeman that it is none of his business whether or not you are wearing your seatbelt, you will be dragged from your car and beaten with a stick (or worse... a $250 ticket).

On this Memorial Day, please remember the brave soldiers who have given their lives in the name of freedom and liberty. I am quite positive they did not give their lives so American citizens would be ticketed by their own government for not wearing a seatbelt.

"They say don't step off the sidewalk and don't cross over the line... we're all criminals waiting to be called."

Angry Terrorists!

Apparently my previous blog about the the restroom terrorist has so angered those in the Canadian terror network that they have decided to send their number one hit man down from Vancouver to finish me off. Unnamed sources report that he is currently en route via small watercraft:



Please be on the lookout for this dangerous individual, code-named "JFace".

Watch My Hair Grow!

I'll take Jaclyn's advice and put The Cam to good use.

As part of our Eclipse integration project, I have decided not to shave until Roundtable 10.1 is ready for public distribution. I hate having a hairy face so this will be constant reminder to me that there is work to be done.

Jaclyn begged me to not shave my armpits instead, but I must have this hideous visage covered in hair to get the full effect.

You can watch my progress by clicking the link over in the side bar, or by clicking here:

The Cam

And you probably thought the internet was good for nothing but email and porn!

Restroom Terrorist

I just heard someone's ass explode in the restroom. I am not sure if he was a terrorist trying to take down the building or the victim of bad sushi. As I was taking care of business myself, I did not see his face.

It all started with a swift opening of the restroom door followed by the sound of someone running across the floor and into an empty stall. Bang! The door was shut. Click! It was locked.

What I then heard can only be described as torment from what I expect was a 'suicide shitter'. The sound of last night's dinner forcefully making it's escape into Orange County sewer system was only drowned out by the moaning and undecipherable words of the would-be assailiant. As I pulled a Koran out of the empty toilet (according to Newsweek that is where we are storing them these days), I tried to follow along to see if I was hearing some kind of secret Muslim chant but I could make nothing of it. I considered bending down to look under the stall to see if he was wearing the new Saddam line of Calvin Klein underwear but I thought I should get while I was able.

I suspect it was some type of nerve gas he released as I started getting quite woozy while washing my hands. Luckily, I had enough strength to make my way towards the door and escape.

All I'm Saying Is..

.. there is nothing to say.

My face itches.

Poem

My Mom used to have this poem in a small dish in the china cabinet. She had cut it from a newspaper. Sometimes I would read it when noone was looking because it brought a lump to my throat. I was a sentimental little kid.

To My Grown Up Son

My Hands were busy through the day;
I didn’t have much time to play
The little games you asked me to.
I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d Wash your clothes, I’d sew and cook,
But when you’d bring your picture book
And ask me please to share your fun
I’d say: "A little later, son."

I’d tuck you in all safe at night
and hear your prayers, turn out the lights,
Then tip toe softly to the door...
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past...
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side
His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play,
No good-night kiss,
No prayers to hear...
That all belongs to yesteryear

My hands, once busy, now are still,
The days are long and hard to fill,
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.

My Little Yellow Man

When I was a kid (4-6 years old), I used to carry around a little, yellow man in my pocket everywhere I went. Now that you are asking yourself "what the hell is he talking about", I will attempt to explain (a web search proved futile in finding an image).

I used to enjoy playing with the bags of Army men when I was a little boy (as did most other young boys that I knew). Some of the bags (I do not remember which brand) included a little plastic jeep with a driver. The driver of the jeep was not like the other molded soliders though. He was a seated, little, yellow man. He did not bend.. he did not smile.. he just sat there in his little molded way.

For some reason, I became attached to this thing and could not go anywhere without it. If my Mom had a nickel for everytime she heard me yell "Mama! Where's my little yellow man?" she would be a rich lady.

I believe I lost my little, yellow man from time to time but it always reappeared. To this day I still wonder if my Mom kept a stash of those somewhere in a box so my fixation could always be replinished when necessary.

Maybe I need a little, yellow man to carry around in my pocket these days. Perhaps the secret of success lies within the molded plastic of the little, yellow man.

Kitchen Makeover

The only mildly successful aspect of my life has been my kitchen makeover. Here are some before and after pictures:

Old kitchen..

Old Kitchen..

New kitchen..

Another shot of the new floor..

I know, I know.. the window treatment is ugly!

Stupidity

I am stupid. It's true. I am completely and utterly stupid. Being surrounded by people much smarter than myself only reinforces the fact that I am stupid. Did I make myself clear? I am stupid.

When is it too late to turn back? Am I too far into my career (that I am apparently too stupid for) to do anything about it? And if I did, what would I do?

I keep meeting people that really excel at what they do. Everything I do is half-assed. I am too pea-brained to become something or someone that others can look up to.

Everything feels like a failure.. failure is all around me.. failure is written in giant letters on the wall. The sad part is that I am too stupid to do anything about it.

The New Floor!

The new floor is installed!

Tommorrow is the Day!

Tommorrow (and Saturday), the experts from Precision Flooring will install my new hardwood floor. Last Sunday, I took it upon myself to pull up the old carpet and hardwood.

Guess what I found underneath the hardwood? Linoleum.. [shudder]. It is hard to believe that my kitchen and hallway was once covered in that stuff. Those guys are going to have a tremendously difficult time getting that up. I am anxious to see what type of tool they will use. I am certain they won't be chiseling it up like I was trying to do.

My shoulder is feeling somewhat better. It got really painful for a few days but I seem that have turned the corner. You know how a bruise looks ugliest when it is beginning to heal? Maybe my shoulder pain was the same. It will be nice to lift weights again.

This blog entry has been brought to you by the letter BORING!

CNN.com - Swiss wrap glacier to slow ice melt - May 10, 2005

Glaciers in a blanket..

CNN.com - Swiss wrap glacier to slow ice melt - May 10, 2005

Those in the global warming community are also of the belief that the Earth is billions of years old and over time has been bombarded with numerous natural catastrophes (ice age, gigantic meteorites, etc). With disaster swirling all around, this glorious planet has managed to survive.

But somehow in the last 150 years, humankind (the most destructive force ever.. specifically the USA) has managed to kick-start a rapid breakdown of the planet's "fragile" eco-system. After withstanding the perils of the universe for billions of years, Earth is now on it's last leg... and all because of the internal combustion engine.

Tiny E and the Art of Customer Service

I am a developer.
I write specs.
I build applications.

Occasionaly, I also provide technical support.

In a small business, one must wear many hats. Those of us who work on Roundtable, must all pitch in and help with technical support for our product. We generally do not get phone calls (only email) and the volume is relatively low.

I had the most annoying (and mildy interesting) email exchange with a customer the other day. He was trying to install Roundtable and was getting an error that is not possible to get unless you have performed the installation incorrectly. No biggie. I handle these types of situations all the time. I ask the customer to send me a couple of log files so I can see where he went wrong (I already had a good idea, but I wanted to verify it before I gave him the solution).

Over the course of several emails, the customer refused to send me the files. All he would say was that he just wanted to install the software. At one point he told me that he did not care what went wrong, just tell him how to fix it.

Allow me to relate with someone calling the shop on the phone because their car was failing to start:

"Good morning, Cooter's garage.."
"Hi. My car won't start. Do you know what's wrong?"
"I can help you with that.. what's happening with it?"
"I turn the key and it does not crank."
"Does the car sound like it is trying to start when you turn the key, or is it just dead?"
"Look, I just want to start my car."
"And I want to help you start your car. I thought you could tell me what sound it was making so I could determine if it was the battery or the starter."
"I don't want to help you figure out what is wrong with my car, I just want you to tell me how to start it! Can you not do that?!"

I'm not kidding. That's how it went.

If you ever call customer service or technical support, please give them the information they are requesting. In most cases, they are asking for a reason even though it may not immediately make sense to you. Everyone will be happier and you won't bring unnecessary stress upon the person who is just trying to help you.

I've Got Wood

My new wood for my floor arrived today. Actually, I went to Yellow Freight to pick it up. In either case, it's here! It will be installed next weekend and then I will be tapping my pretty toes across Brazilian Hickory Sesame.

My condo has really changed since November: new cabinets, granite counter, smooth ceilings and now new, wood flooring. No more old and ugly "grandma's trailer" like before. When everything is complete I should host a detailed picture gallery.

Unfortunately, the only part I really did myself was the counter tops. It was my first project of this kind and it turned out rather well. Of course, I can see all little mistakes. My neighbor told me that the key is to never point our your mistakes to others. Just tell them that you did it yourself, you know there are a few mistakes, but you saved a lot of money and learned something. I would have liked to try installing the floors myself but I am just too busy with work. A home remodel project really consumes you and I can only afford to be consumed with Roundtable right now.

The new Ryan Adams CD came out today. It's really good. It's been streaming online from his web site for about a week so I am very familar with the songs at this point. It's too bad that it doesn't seem like he can stay sober long enough to put on a decent show (from the reviews I have read). I highly recommend this CD to anyone who likes real music.

Ok, I need to think about shell scripts now.

Dig it.

CNN.com - Brain damaged for 10 years, firefighter makes astounding recovery - May 3, 2005

Whew! It's a good thing his wife did not insist on starving him to death.

CNN.com - Brain damaged for 10 years, firefighter makes astounding recovery - May 3, 2005

My Shoulder Hurts..

.. and it has been hurting for over a month. Sometimes, it is much more than just my shoulder. My entire arm and elbow will get tingly and numb.

I think that it has something to do with sitting at a keyboard too much and resting my elbow incorrectly. Unfortunately, it has really limited quality gym-time. I still go several times a week, but I have been limited to most cardio.

I cannot remember injuring my shoulder, so I can only assume it is some sort of "office" injury. I also have this weird issue with my arm falling asleep at night. It's really bad. At least once a week, I wake up and my entire arm feels totally dead. I have to lift it with my right hand and flop it around for a good five minutes.

I have been at the office everyday for at about 3 weeks now. It is beginning to seem normal to work on Saturday and Sunday. Hell, what else do I have to do? What is it that people do on the weekends anyway? Do all these people have hobbies or do they just lay around all weekend? I used to play guitar but it now goes mostly untouched except for the occasional song for Jaclyn.

I need to make some changes..