"Hello, customer service? I'd like to return my penis.."

Well, the world's first penis transplant was reversed due to the psychological problems it caused the recipient and his wife.

Penis Transplant Reversed

"There had been no signs of the 10-centimetre (4-inch) organ being rejected by the recipient's body."

Four inches!? He goes to all the trouble to get a transplant and they only give him a four-incher? What will we find out next.. that they give him the wrong color too?

Personally, I think he brought it back to the hospital for an upgrade.

I Leave the Party @ 3:00 AM..

...alone (thank God).

Hang Up and Drive

Here in California, our so-called Republican governor is really being sucked in by our far-left legislature.

Governor to Sign 'Hang-Up-and-Drive' Bill

This is so absolutely asinine that it is difficult to comment on without pounding my keyboard into submission.

We already have a law in this state (like all other states) against reckless driving. If (for whatever reason) your driving is out of control and endangering fellow motorists, you are subject to a fine. There is no need to create a new piece of legislation that singles out cell phone usage.

I have driven past people on the freeway with a newspaper spread across the steering wheel and a coffee in hand. I have even seen people watching tv while behind the wheel. I have seen big dogs sitting in driver's laps. However, none of these behaviors are being singled out as criminal.

I know that I have used this forum many times to bitch about the ridiculous places that people use their cell phones. If someone is driving recklessly while talking on their phone, I believe they should be ticketed. However, we do not need a law that singles out one specific behavior while ignoring other dangerous behavior.

Brad and Angelina Make a Stand

Quick! Write your Congressman! If changing the law will help bring these two together in wedded bless, then we must change it!

Delayed Nuptials

Can you believe the conceit of the two? Does anyone really give a damn?

The "Path to 911" Movie

Boy! These "free-speech" liberals and Democrats don't give a damn about free speech if you have a viewpoint with which they do not agree.

President Sorepecker Isn't Happy

Can You Believe This?

Michael Moore's fiction doesn't bother them. The slanderous Ronald Reagan movie didn't bother them. Howard 'The Scream' Dean calling President Bush every name in the book doesn't bother them. But if a movie dare holds President Sorepecker's feet to the fire over his administration's failures, then all hell shall break loose.

Kids in Chaos

Boy, this really takes the cake:

Teachers Urged to Tolerate Swearing

My favorite:

"..teachers need to learn to interpret their students’ body language. When a student is visibly agitated, the teacher might not want to push any buttons by asking if he or she brought in homework that day."

So.. what's your "f--- you" meter?