Bacon Grease

I like moist lips. My lips. I don't care about your lips unless you plan on kissing me.

In fact, I once became addicted to Chapstick. During that trying time, my lips had become welfare lips. They refused to function on their own without a multi-daily slathering of Chapstick. Eventually, the overdose of took it's toll and my lips became like two raw pieces of beef. I was constantly miserable. These days, a youngster might be compelled to seek out therapy or counseling but I was adamant about beating the addiction on my own (which I did).

Where it all started though was my necessity to apply Vaseline to my lips before I left for school in the morning. The Chapstick came into play when I decided I would need a "fix" while away from home. I do not think you could get the little Vaseline tubes in those days and I was not going to carry a big, Michael-Jacskson-size jar of Vaseline around with me.

One particularly 4th grade morning, I applied (what I thought was) my usual amount of Vaseline to my fresh morning lips. During the roll in my first class, Mrs. Ferbee took note of my overly-shiny lips:

"Tiny Elvis! You have bacon grease all over you lips. I can't believe your mama would let you come to school with bacon grease all over your mouth!"

She sent me to the restroom to wash all the "bacon grease" from my mouth and I was left with dry lips for the rest of the day. It may have been that day that I decided I would never again be without a lip moisturizer.

Years later, I always have a small tube of Vaseline lip therapy somewhere in my vicinity. Not Chapstick... not Blistex.. my handy little tube of Vaseline lip-goop.