Your World With Tiny Elvis

Onward and Upward

2007-09-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

Back when Jay Farrar was a good songwriter, he once wrote the following lyric:

Here for now, transient tomorrow... we're all living proof that nothing lasts...

In that same spirit, I am moving on. Updates to this blog will now be coming to an end.

However, the news is not all bad my friends. I am leaving this blog to join the powerhouse team at Six Meat Buffet. From this single portal, you'll be able to enjoy the musings of myself, Preston Taylor Holmes, Annika, and The Cranky Neocon. More calorie-laden food for thought than you could have possibly ever imagined!

Turn off the damn light when you leave!

Dig it.

I Have Nothing Else to Say

2007-08-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

This blog will be deleted.

Global Coldening

2007-07-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

Great article:

Fear of a Global Coldening

The Leader of the Catholic Cult Speaks

2007-07-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

We Protestants are second-class Christians.

You Must Worship the Pope!

Come on.. look at this guy. I'm sure that that is the last thing every choir boy sees right before a Catholic-approved molestation.

Warren Buffett – A Case of the Guilts?

2007-07-09T14:04:00.001-07:00

Excellent article by Larry Elder:

Whatever happened to Warren Buffett, the world's third-richest man? Guilt, a feeling of being blessed by luck, forgotten lessons – who knows? In any case, Buffett now believes that government should redistribute the wealth earned by others to those who did not earn it.

"Buffett Blasts System That Lets Him Pay Less Tax Than Secretary" blared a recent headline. Huh?

At a Hillary Rodham Clinton fundraiser speech before 400 movers and shakers, Buffett denounced our tax system. According to Buffett, he pays taxes at a lower tax rate than does his $60,000-a-year secretary, 17.7 percent and 30 percent, respectively. But Buffett has long been sympathetic toward big government. Buffett joined the informal "advisory board" of then-California gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger, who became governor because his predecessor tripled the car tax. Incredibly, Buffett promptly urged an increase in California property taxes. Buffett also opposes repeal of the estate tax, considering it unfair for generation after generation to retain wealth, presumably preventing those in the lower classes (where he came from) from rising up.

But let's examine the assertion that Buffett pays a higher tax rate than does his secretary.

Buffett says he earned $46 million in 2006, with a tax rate of 17.7 percent – all, says Buffet, without attempting to avoid paying higher taxes. But his income clearly places him in the highest federal income tax bracket – 35 percent – but the same "non-avoidance" tax rules allow ample deductions and credits. Surely a man like Buffet can claim buckets-full, to say nothing of possible business losses and capital gains inherent in his line of work. So he probably reached the 17.7 percent rate without any monkey business. Fair enough. Whip out your calculator. First, Buffett, on his $46 million a year, paid – at his 17.7 percent rate – over $8 million in taxes.

Now let's deal with his secretary, whom he claims pays his or her taxes at a 30 percent rate. Buffett, in his speech, provided no details about the secretary. But even with minimal deductions, the highest possible federal tax bracket for a single person earning $60,000 a year is 25 percent. We don't know whether Buffett's secretary is married, a homeowner or renter, or has children.

Let's suppose Buffett's secretary is a single person, a renter, no kids, and makes no IRA contribution (or any other gross income adjustments) and claims the standard deductions. This scenario places the secretary in the highest possible income tax bracket. But after the standard deduction ($5,150) and one personal exemption ($3,300), the secretary's taxable income becomes $51,550 – the 25 percent tax bracket. This means the secretary pays $9,439 in taxes – or 15.7 percent of the $60,000 annual income. Assuming the secretary lives in Nebraska (where Buffett is headquartered), with its highest income tax bracket at 6.84 percent, the secretary pays $2,663 to the state, or another 4.4 percent of the $60,000. Altogether, this gives the secretary a total tax rate of 20.1 percent.

Throw in one kid under 17 years of age, and a $4,000 contribution to an IRA, and this single parent secretary – still renting and claiming the standard deduction – now has a taxable income of $41,850. With one child tax credit, secretary pays $4,814 in federal income taxes, just 8 percent of the $60,000-per-year income. Single-parent secretary also pays $2,076 in income taxes to Nebraska, for a total of 11.5 percent of the $60,000 per year annual income.

Now suppose we're talking about a married secretary, with a stay-at-home spouse. They file jointly, pay a home mortgage and have two kids under the age of 17. They place $4,000 in an IRA and itemize $15,000 in deductions. Here the tax picture changes dramatically. Taxable income drops to $27,800 – the 15 percent tax bracket. With child tax credits, secretary now pays $1,419 in federal taxes, or 2.4 percent of $60,000. Add in another 2 percent for $1,218 in state taxes, and secretary pays a grand total, state and federal, of 4.4 percent on the $60,000-a-year salary.

An online search of Buffett's comments found not a single news story (as opposed to an editorial) questioning his assertion that he pays a lower tax rate than does his secretary.

During his speech, Buffett also explained why he became a Democrat. Republicans, he says, think, "I'm making $80 million a year. God must have intended me to have a lower tax rate." Interesting. Does Buffett know that Republicans donate more money to charity than do Democrats? In his book "Who Really Cares," author Arthur Brooks explains why. Republicans believe in limited government, and therefore feel the responsibility to help the needy falls on their shoulders. Additionally, the Republican Party contains more religious people than the Democratic Party, and the religious give more than their non-religious counterparts.

Maybe God wants lower income tax brackets to provide more disposable income. That way people can – as Buffett does – give more to the needy.

Happy Memorial Day

2007-05-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

On this Memorial Day, I am reminded of Zel Miller's speech at the 2004 Republican Convention:

Never in the history of the world has any soldier sacrificed more for the freedom and liberty of total strangers than the American soldier. And, our soldiers don’t just give freedom abroad, they preserve it for us here at home.

For it has been said so truthfully that it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag who gives that protester the freedom to abuse and burn that flag.

God bless.

Father Sues Over Sons Death

2007-05-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

John Hancock, former pitcher of the St Louis Cardinals, went and got himself killed in a drunk driving accident last month. The victim was twice the legal intoxication limit, had marijuana in his vehicle, wasn't wearing a seat belt, and was yapping away on his cell phone before plowing into the back of a tow-truck.

Now.. guess who is at fault (according to the father)?

The suit, filed in St. Louis Circuit Court by Dean Hancock of Tupelo, Miss., does not specify damages. Mike Shannon's Restaurant, owned by the longtime Cardinals broadcaster who starred on three World Series teams in the 1960s, is a defendant in the case along with Shannon's daughter, Patricia Shannon Van Matre, the restaurant manager.

Other defendants include Eddie's Towing, the company whose flatbed tow truck was struck by Hancock's sport utility vehicle in the early hours of April 29; tow truck driver Jacob Edward Hargrove; and Justin Tolar, the driver whose stalled car on Interstate 64 was being assisted by Hargrove.

It Wasn't My Boy's Fault!

One can only imagine what kind of spoiled childhood this guy had.

Here We Go Again..

2007-05-22T08:40:00.001-07:00

The 'experts' are once again predicting an active hurricane season (brought on by President Bush and his global warming no doubt).

The Hurricanes are Coming!

I suppose that we are supposed to forget the dire predictions made last year calling for the most servere hurricane season ever since the reality clashed with what the weather soothsayers had predicted.

The Magic Negro

2007-05-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Utopia awaits!!!!

Go Obama!

Obama also called for better preventative health care and universal health insurance.

"By the end of my first term as president, we can have universal health care in this country. We can do that," he said standing in front of an enormous American flag.

Can I have a free TV too? How about a sports car for every American?

John Adolf Edwards

2007-05-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

As usual, a Democrat wants to silence those with whom they have disagreement:

Edwards Blasts Coulter

"Her outrageous comments are inexcusable and should not be tolerated in the public dialogue."

Inexcusable? Should not be tolerated?

Can it be any more clear what's in the heart of these people? Hillary wants to steal the profits from oil companies and John Edwards wants to put the kibosh on anyone whose speech his finds offensive. Which Democrat contender is next to open their mouth and show his or her true feelings?

Hillary Chavez Clinton

2007-05-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

There Must be Something Wrong With Me

2007-04-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

I awoke around 3:00AM today singing this song:

That rockin' guitar solo must really speak to me. Or, maybe I am mentally ill.

Let it be known..

2007-04-18T16:41:00.000-07:00

Today the Supreme Court banned partial birth abortions.

Let it be known that Presidential candidates John Edwards, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton wholeheartedly endorse the killing of babies in the womb:

"I could not disagree more strongly with today's Supreme Court decision. The ban upheld by the Court is an ill-considered and sweeping prohibition that does not even take account for serious threats to the health of individual women. This hard right turn is a stark reminder of why Democrats cannot afford to lose the 2008 election. Too much is at stake - starting with, as the Court made all too clear today, a woman's right to choose." - John Edwards

I strongly disagree with today’s Supreme Court ruling, which dramatically departs from previous precedents safeguarding the health of pregnant women. As Justice Ginsburg emphasized in her dissenting opinion, this ruling signals an alarming willingness on the part of the conservative majority to disregard its prior rulings respecting a woman’s medical concerns and the very personal decisions between a doctor and patient. I am extremely concerned that this ruling will embolden state legislatures to enact further measures to restrict a woman's right to choose, and that the conservative Supreme Court justices will look for other opportunities to erode Roe v. Wade, which is established federal law and a matter of equal rights for women. - Barack Obama

This decision marks a dramatic departure from four decades of Supreme Court rulings that upheld a woman's right to choose and recognized the importance of women's health. Today's decision blatantly defies the Court's recent decision in 2000 striking down a state partial-birth abortion law because of its failure to provide an exception for the health of the mother. As the Supreme Court recognized in Roe v. Wade in 1973, this issue is complex and highly personal; the rights and lives of women must be taken into account. It is precisely this erosion of our constitutional rights that I warned against when I opposed the nominations of Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Alito." - Hillary Clinton

Will someone please abort these three clowns?

Teen Kills Newborn

2007-04-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

How is this any different than partial-birth abortion?

Teen Mother Stabs Newborn to Death

Wasn't she simply making a choice?

Nappy-headed Ho's

2007-04-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

I simply love the hypocrisy of the "black community" and other outraged sources regarding this whole Don Imus story.

Imus vs Nappy-Headed Ho's

My favorite quote:

Appearing on Sharpton's show, U.S. Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, a Michigan Democrat and chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus, also raised the issue of chauvinism.

"I mean, who says 'hos' publicly?" she asked. "What is that? That is probably one of the most derogatory things any woman -- black, brown, yellow -- could even ever experience."

What about Snoop Dog, Ludacris, Too Short, Westside Connection, DJ Quik, 2Pac, Eazy-E, 50 Cent, etc? Perhaps Imus had been getting in touch with the black community by listening to the collective genius of the rap community and was simply trying to be folksy?

More Global Warming Hysteria

2007-03-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

Tourists Cause Global Warming

How many of you really believe this garbage?

Golf

2007-02-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

I like to play golf. Oh, I'm not very good at it but I still enjoy it. The last month or so has become a bit of a golf obsession as someone here at the office has gotten me back into it. Several times a week we go to the driving range at lunch or after work. He even went so far as to buy a nice digital video camera which has a special setting for golf swings (pretty cool, huh?). So we set the camera up, record our practice sessions, and then analyze our swings.

As an educational tool, it has proven to be invaluable. Watching your swing from different angles in crystal-clear slow motion really helps to identify your technical flaws. With patience and practice we both have become better golfers.. at the range.

Something truly unique happens when you actually get onto the course. Everything you've learned, the film study, and the practicing proves to be futile . Your mind goes blank and to no avail can you seem to recreate that fluid, effortless motion you have at the driving range. Those high arching shots with a slight draw turn into blistering grounders. Those beautiful 30 yard pitch shots become line drive fastballs that fall well out of bounds. But then you have that one shot.. that one beauty that even Tiger Woods would envy that keeps you coming back for more.

Golf: THE sport for those who are gluttons for punishment.

Noise, Noise, Noise

2007-02-20T22:54:00.000-08:00

My upstairs neighbor loves to wash his clothes late at night. Does it not occur to anyone but me that a washing machine (with all of it's water running and draining) is quite loud?

Perhaps a little 5:00am guitar practice is in order...

Blood Will Now Be on Their Hands

2007-02-18T08:19:00.001-08:00

Republicans Who Voted for Defeat

Anonymous Misses Me

2007-02-14T21:23:00.000-08:00

Awwww, I've been missed. How sweet:

You haven't posted had a new post for a long time. Where have you been?? Vacationing in beautiful Arizona with the minutemen???

I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

One can only assume that our Anonymous friend loves having his or her country overrun by criminals. Perhaps he or she should consider moving to some crime-ridden neighborhood of Los Angeles where gangs consisting of illegals from south-of-the-border run rampant. Tell 'em that you're with them in their stuggle. Or maybe he or she could visit the Los Angeles county jails which are stuffed with these fine folks. Let them know that you're out there fighting for them.

O.C. Illegals Roundup

2007-01-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

This is from the The Orange County Register. I was going to offer some tiny-minded comments however Manfredo's and Hector's words clearly demonstrate that they have their own agenda.

SANTA ANA – The immigration agents banging on the door last Wednesday were looking for a convicted sex offender in the country illegally.

He had skipped town, but the agents didn't leave empty-handed: They arrested the man's brother – who was in the U.S. illegally and had a criminal conviction.

The man is among 761 illegal immigrants swept up in one of the largest crackdowns by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents and U.S. marshals. Of those, 174 were arrested in Orange County, one of five Southern California counties in the sweep.

The agencies targeted criminal violators, checking jails and hunting for suspects through neighborhoods. Among those they arrested were a father and son accused of shooting a man to death in Mexico over an argument about a broken fence. They have been turned over to Mexican authorities.

Half of those arrested had a criminal history – arrests or convictions, said Jim Hayes, who runs the ICE Los Angeles field office.

"We're not going to tolerate people coming to the United States, violating immigration laws and continuing to commit crimes, Hayes said.

No one wants criminals in their neighborhoods, but immigration advocates say the sweeps have frightened the Hispanic community, which sees itself largely alone in the crosshairs of immigration officials.

"I'm not against the arrest of criminals," Manfredo Lespier, head of Latino Business Council, said. "If you are targeting people and almost all the people you are arresting are all Hispanics, that to me would indicate that is the only minority they are targeting. And that concerns me."

Most of those arrested were from Mexico, but the dragnet included people from 13 other countries, too.

Just after rounding up the sex offender's brother, agents hit a Santa Ana boarding house, looking for a drug convict. The house was full of people. Armed with fuzzy mug shots, agents said they couldn't be sure their man wasn't there.

Six men in the house admitted being in the country illegally. They were taken to a Santa Ana processing center, where they were fingerprinted. The drug convict wasn't among them.

But four of the men had prior convictions – three for driving under the influence and one for lying about his identity to a police officer, ICE spokeswoman Virginia Kice said. All six are going through deportation proceedings.

Hector Villagra, director of the American Civil Liberties Union's Orange County office, criticized ICE for targeting the home's occupants after the original suspect couldn't be found.

"What is their basis for continuing to question the other people who are there? Is it just a suspicion based on they're being Hispanic?" he asked.

Groups that oppose illegal immigration said the raids are good to conduct, but questioned their long-term effect in dealing with the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants.

"This may make a small immediate impact, where cities and counties can say, 'See, look what we've done here,' " said Tim Bueler, spokesman for the Minuteman Project. "But what are they doing about the big picture?"

Federal prosecutors said they are building cases against serious criminal offenders who returned to the U.S. after previous deportations. If convicted, they could spend up to 20 years in federal prison.

Federal estimates indicate there are 400,000 to 600,000 illegal immigrants in the U.S. who have ignored deportation orders.

Christian-condescension

2007-01-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Christian-condescension: Christian-condescension occurs when a Christian feels he or she is above those whom they have to deemed to be non-Christians or participate in behavior that he or she feels does not subscribe to the Christian faith. Jesus went to the sinners. Christian-condescenders feel their are morally superior and steer clear.

Note: Please note the typo in the last sentence. It seems that I accidently typed "their are" instead of "they are". Thanks to Anonymous for pointing that out!

The Governantor Seeks Aid

2007-01-16T22:27:00.000-08:00

Sigh..

I Vant Money Now!

What is with this guy? Do others really subscribe to the theory that there should be no risks in life... that everything should guaranteed.. that being bailed out by American taxpayer is a Constituational right?

Blog-and-Attack Christian

2007-01-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

Blog-and-attack Christian: The blog-and-attack Christian loves to brandish their holy keyboard as if they were the almighty God pouring judgement on the poor, wretched, uninformed masses via the world wide web. The blog-and-attack Christian carefully selects a few sins (while ignoring their own shortcomings of course) and seeks to admonish all wrongdoer's thus elevating their status in the eyes of the Lord. The blog-and-attack Christian will surely receive their just rewards in God's kingdom.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-02T12:13:00.000-08:00

Well well well, it's 2007.... another revolution around the sun for good 'ol planet Earth.

2007?

Shit, I'm getting old.

It's Okay, I'm Still Alive

2006-12-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

Oh where, oh where has TinyElvis been?

I apologize to those of you whose lives have been seriously inconvenienced by my absence. For my Christmas vacation, I journeyed back to my homeland to make merry with family and friends. Now that I am back in sunny southern California, I will try to resume my regular blogging schedule because what's a day without a little sunshine from TinyE?

In the meanwhile, please enjoy this collage of hot ass courtesy of TinyE and the future Mrs TinyE.

Dig it!

Holocaust Deniers

2006-12-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

If we have any spare bombs, can we drop a couple on this place and rid the world of 67 fools?

Holocaust Conference

Keep in mind that this was sponsored Iran's President Ahmadinejad. The same guy with whom the UN believes we should enter into talks.

Singing For Your Supper

2006-12-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

Some sing sing for their supper, others rap to pay littering fines.

In Tempe Arizona, a police officer had two black men rap to avoid a ticket for littering. Unfortunately, this has outraged the NAALCP and, of course, the city has issued an apology.

Rap Away That Ticket, Yo!

Even though the two men in question were laughing afterwards, so feared is the wrath of the NAALCP that the city still apologized, begged for mercy and promised to expand their diversity training program.

Earlier this year I was issued a speeding ticket. I wear western shirts and have big sideburns. Personally, I would have loved for the officer to have noticed this and asked me to sing a country song instead of paying the $250 ticket and spending a Saturday at traffic school.

More Nonsense From Rangel

2006-11-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

I am so damn tired of these dumb-ass, arrogant politicans tearing down our military.

"If a young fellow has an option of having a decent career, or joining the Army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq," Mr. Rangel, a Democrat representing Manhattan and Queens, said on "Fox News Sunday."

"If there's anyone who believes these youngsters want to fight, as the Pentagon and some generals have said, you can just forget about it. No bright young individual wants to fight just because of a bonus and just because of educational benefits. And most all of them come from communities of very, very high unemployment," the congressman said.

Video and more comments are available on Hot Air.

Where's the Cash?

2006-11-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

Regarding Michael Richards and his "racist outburst"...

The quickest way to have people turn against you is to put on a victim cap, hire Gloria Allred, and seek monetary compensation.

Kramer, We Want Some Money!

While his behavior is definitely socially unacceptable, using the word "nigger" is not against the law. However, it's become the norm for liberal activists like Ms Allred to attempt to punish and sanction those with whom they disagree. They will defend the right of some to dip a crucifix in urine, snap a photo, and call it art but then pull out all the stops in an attempt to punish someone for exercising their first amendment freedoms.

"It's not enough to say 'I'm sorry,'" she said.

According to whom? What law was broken here?

"Our clients were vulnerable," Allred said. "He went after them. He singled them out and he taunted them, and he did it in a closed room where they were captive."

Oh please. I'm not sure what's more sickening: Mr. Richards outburst or this pathetic attempt to portrary her clients as helpless victims. I certainly don't condone the comments made by Mr. Richards, but sometimes in a free country you may hear speech that you find offensive. Simply walk away or turn it off. Just don't ask someone to pay you for it.

Dems Loathe the Military but Love the Draft

2006-11-20T07:28:00.000-08:00

Why didn't he make this the centerpiece of his campaign so the folks in Harlem would know for whom they were voting?

Rangel Wants a Draft

I love these comments by his constituents:

"What, he was smoking pot or something?" said 58-year-old James Brown.

"He doesn't represent the people of Harlem if he's for the draft," Neil Davis, 48, said.

As usual, Democrats will lie and withhold their true intentions just to get elected. It's all about power.

Shorty Wants to Kill Us All

2006-11-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

Interesting read..

Iran Preparing Another Holocaust

I wonder how our new Democrat-heroes in Congress will respond to this threat? My guess is (like Iraq), they would agree that it's a threat and then when things don't go as smoothly as they would like, they would deny they ever agreed to such an action, beat their chests, and call the President a liar.

In reality, the Dems will go about it as usual. They will ignore any threats and try to make nice with everyone. Oh, we ALL know that they only reason the terrorists want to kill us is because of the evil Republicans right? If we are just a bit nicer to them, the world will be at peace (just like Clinton declared). Besides, they can't worry themselves with things like international threats. They have their socialist agenda to worry about: raising minium wage, raising taxes, destroying the health care industy, and welcoming illegals aliens with open arms.

The fools.

However, it's our fault. We elect a leader who cannot clearly convey to the American people the differences between Converservative principals and the socialist agenda of those on the left. We elect Republicans more interested in meeting people in the center instead of standing on principals.

Iran Praises Democrat Congressional Victory

2006-11-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

What is the lesson learned here when our enemies celebrate the Congressional victories of the Democrats?

Khamenei calls elections a victory for Iran

Saddam Hussein Sentenced to Death

2006-11-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Has everyone seen the video of Saddam's death sentence?

Of course the European Union is decrying his punishment.

"The EU opposes capital punishment in all cases and under all circumstances, and it should not be carried out in this case either," Finland, current holder of the rotating EU presidency, said in a statement."

How can you take these people seriously? I'm sure they're still angry with the US for forcing Hitler to blow his brains out in a bunker.

I can't wait to watch the Democratic party leaders join in the condemnation as well as they can't bear to see one their own swinging from a rope.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps..

2006-10-31T21:44:00.000-08:00

I used to play guitar.

Oh I still pick up my acoustic and strum it on a semi-regular basis but I used to be a real guitar player.

There was a point in my life where I could not envision myself doing anything other than playing music. As a teenager, I could not wait for my twenties because I just knew that I would be playing music and entertaining millions of people around the world. Fans would line up around the block just the chance of buying a ticket to be entertained by yours truly.

It did not help matters much that I started playing in bands at a young age and by the time I was in high school, I was playing in clubs and venues on a fairly regular basis. All this "success" early in life was simply more fuel for the fire.

Well, somewhere along the way (probably by my mid-20's) reality set in and then it just became playing for fun. The thing is, the 'fun' sure was a lot of work: finding time and places to rehearse, playing crappy weekday gigs until 1 in the morning, breaking my back loading equipment into my car, etc. All for what? The few hours on stage in front of a handful of people?

Absolutely.

Playing music in front of an audience can only be likened to the most addictive drug known to man. With music however, once it is in your blood, no amount of rehab and detox will rid your body of this narcotic. And just like any junkie, you will subject yourself to playing any type of music just to get your fix. That polite applause, the smile on people's faces, the foot-tapping.. it's what your body craves uncontrollably.

In just a few short months, I will be 36. I haven't played in a band in over two years and my electric guitars hang on the wall more like pieces of art than musical instruments. The drug I once craved is now simply an addiction that I have control of.

While my guitar gently weeps...

Anti-Illegal Alien = Nazi?

2006-10-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

Does such stupidity event warrant commentary? Yes, just a little.

Read what Ruben has to say...

To his credit, he does say that attempting to suppress another's freedom of speech is not the way to solve problems. But not-so-hidden between the lines is his hatred and disdain for those who oppose the flow of illegals across the border.

When Minutemen founder Jim Gilchrist sent me an angry e-mail calling me a racist a while back, I shrugged it off as a pot-kettle thing.

What did the email say exactly? We are supposed to simply take your word for it?

As the son of a retired law enforcement officer, I have little tolerance for wannabes who play cop and even less for those who play with fire by taking up a cause that appeals to nativists and hooligans.

I see. No citizen should ever take responsibility for their own country. If the government is ignoring the Constitution then, by God, we should all follow suit. What is a 'nativist' anyway? I love the way he mentions that he is the son of a retired law enforcement officer. So? Does this somehow lend more credibility to his opinion?

It's not tough to win an argument with someone like Gilchrist. You just let him talk, and, before long, he'll say something inaccurate, intolerant, or idiotic.

Again.. back up your statement. What has he said that you found to be idiotic? Please cite some examples. Let us know what you find to be idiotic so that we can better weigh the merit of your opinion.

That's enough. I think that I will turn this over to my lovely fiance' and let her grade it.

Too Hot for TV

2006-10-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

You won't see this on television:

Good stuff. I'm sure YouTube will find some reason to take it down.

The Foley Saga

2006-10-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

This is the best one I've heard so far:

"There's good news and bad news regarding Congressman Mark Foley. The good news is that he has entered rehab. The bad news is that Rehab is a 14-year-old boy from Pakistan."

- Jay Leno

"Hello, customer service? I'd like to return my penis.."

2006-09-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the world's first penis transplant was reversed due to the psychological problems it caused the recipient and his wife.

Penis Transplant Reversed

"There had been no signs of the 10-centimetre (4-inch) organ being rejected by the recipient's body."

Four inches!? He goes to all the trouble to get a transplant and they only give him a four-incher? What will we find out next.. that they give him the wrong color too?

Personally, I think he brought it back to the hospital for an upgrade.

I Leave the Party @ 3:00 AM..

2006-09-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

...alone (thank God).

Hang Up and Drive

2006-09-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

Here in California, our so-called Republican governor is really being sucked in by our far-left legislature.

Governor to Sign 'Hang-Up-and-Drive' Bill

This is so absolutely asinine that it is difficult to comment on without pounding my keyboard into submission.

We already have a law in this state (like all other states) against reckless driving. If (for whatever reason) your driving is out of control and endangering fellow motorists, you are subject to a fine. There is no need to create a new piece of legislation that singles out cell phone usage.

I have driven past people on the freeway with a newspaper spread across the steering wheel and a coffee in hand. I have even seen people watching tv while behind the wheel. I have seen big dogs sitting in driver's laps. However, none of these behaviors are being singled out as criminal.

I know that I have used this forum many times to bitch about the ridiculous places that people use their cell phones. If someone is driving recklessly while talking on their phone, I believe they should be ticketed. However, we do not need a law that singles out one specific behavior while ignoring other dangerous behavior.

Brad and Angelina Make a Stand

2006-09-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

Quick! Write your Congressman! If changing the law will help bring these two together in wedded bless, then we must change it!

Delayed Nuptials

Can you believe the conceit of the two? Does anyone really give a damn?

The "Path to 911" Movie

2006-09-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

Boy! These "free-speech" liberals and Democrats don't give a damn about free speech if you have a viewpoint with which they do not agree.

President Sorepecker Isn't Happy

Can You Believe This?

Michael Moore's fiction doesn't bother them. The slanderous Ronald Reagan movie didn't bother them. Howard 'The Scream' Dean calling President Bush every name in the book doesn't bother them. But if a movie dare holds President Sorepecker's feet to the fire over his administration's failures, then all hell shall break loose.

Kids in Chaos

2006-09-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

Boy, this really takes the cake:

Teachers Urged to Tolerate Swearing

My favorite:

"..teachers need to learn to interpret their students’ body language. When a student is visibly agitated, the teacher might not want to push any buttons by asking if he or she brought in homework that day."

So.. what's your "f--- you" meter?

Video Music Awards

2006-08-31T22:19:00.001-07:00

I was doing a little channel surfing earlier this evening and noticed that the Video Music Awards were on MTV. I'm not quite sure what that even means. I haven't seen a video on MTV in ages so to which videos are they giving awards?

In any case, the few minutes that I saw were littered with pop icons whose identities were unknown to this author. At the risk of sounding like an incredibly old, Chevrolet seat-cover fart, I must confess that I don't know what "kids these days" are listening to. My parents couldn't stand the loud, screaming, metal that I enjoyed as a teenager but at least there were musicians playing instruments. All I saw and heard this evening was electronic beats, questionable vocal talents, and choreographed dance movements.

What saddens me even more is the fact that there is so much true talent in this country struggling on the road to eek out some meager living as a professional musician while some fool like "Diddy" gets a standing ovation when he walks on to the stage. Beyonce? Please.

If you want to see the real video of the year, then ladies and gentlemen.. I give you.. Neko Case.

A Convenient Truth

2006-08-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

"South Florida residents breathed a sigh of relief early Wednesday after Tropical Storm Ernesto confounded forecasters by lumbering ashore without the hurricane-strength winds once feared."

Where are all the powerful hurricanes that were going to ravage the United States this hurricane season? Algore and others had us trembling in our sandals with warnings that 2006 would be a year of destruction unlike one we have ever seen. So far, we've gotten a few tropical depressions and a couple of storms.

If scientists (the smartest people on the planet) can so boldy declare with absolute conviction that we have doomed ourselves to irreversible climate change, I would think they could at least give us an accurate prediction of hurricane patterns in such a short timeframe.

Secrets

2006-08-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Who can guess the secret of the sea?
Who can guess the secret of the sea?
If you can guess the secret of my love for you
Then we both could know the secret of the sea

Am I Simply Getting Old?

2006-08-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

I have very little patience for those who seemingly couldn't care less for those in their surroundings. Lately however, my fuse seems to be getting shorter. Oh I'm not flying off the handle or anything, but on the inside I fume when I encounter behavior or situations that are completely devoid of conscientiousness. Even as I type this, a couple is standing in the parking lot below my window flapping their gums about nothing in particular. Why must they stand under MY window? If they must stand outside to converse, why can't they find their own window to park their asses in front of?

Whether it's litter carelessly tossed into the street or some clown driving through the parking lot with his radio too loud, my thoughts cannot help but drift to that of tying the culprit up and dragging them across miles of broken glass. Ok, maybe that is a little extreme but I'm sure you get my point.

These things used to not bother me as much. But as I am getting older, I find myself expecting more from mankind.

Expecting more from mankind? Boy, that sounds like a formula for misery and high blood-pressure.

Can We Overreact Just a Little More?

2006-08-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend's sister flew in from Seattle yesterday to visit for a few days. Unfortunately she had already left for the airport by the time the news of yesterday's thwarted terror plot had begun to be disseminated by your favorite new sources. Little did she know that she would soon be on the floor at the airport emptying her suitcase of all her newly purchased toiletries.

Yesterday, all across America, air travelers were being forced to throw-away such dangerous items as shampoo, perfume, toothpaste, face wash and lip balm.

This is how we do it here. In the interest of fairness, we punish everyone for the sins of a few. No one wants to be accused of the dreaded "profiling". So instead of extra screening for those who look like the terrorists who were trying to attack us, we make all travelers throw out their personal care items and feel up old ladies in wheel chairs.

If a bank were robbed by a 5'6" white man with a shaved head who drove away in a Dodge Dart, would we stop the Latino girl driving the Neon? Or harass the 80 year old war veteran in his Lincoln? I am pretty confident that the answer to these questions are no. Why then do we subject traveling American citizens to such inconvenience and embarrassment while simply trying to carry on (no pun intended) with their lives?

Insightful Late Night Observations

2006-08-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's getting late and I cannot sleep. I am in Nashua NH on business and doing time at the local Holiday Inn (at least the internet access is free). I have always found it odd that the less expensive the hotel, the more "extras" you are afforded at no charge. At Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, I shelled out $300 per night and paid for internet access, breakfast, parking, phone usage, etc. Contrast that with my stay at a Holiday Inn Express in Washington state. The charge was $60 per night included free internet access, a real breakfast and an evening "cookie hour". What can beat that?

So here in Nashua, we have a happy medium: cheap breakfast and free internet access. I guess you can't have everything.

Cute

2006-07-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

As a diversion from all the political and religous talk, I offer you a photo of Jaclyn as a young'un. Besides my own baby pictures, have you ever seen anything so cute?

For the Birds!

2006-07-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

No soybean, cotton and rice for you!

I believe the preamble of the US Constitution states that the government should PROMOTE the general welfare.. not undermine it! Sheesh.

Woodpecker Halts Ark. Irrigation Project

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - A federal judge temporarily stopped construction on a $320 million irrigation project Thursday, ruling the changes could disturb the habitat of a woodpecker that might or might not exist.

Scientists had thought the ivory-billed woodpecker was extinct until a kayaker reported spotting one in 2004 near the White River in eastern Arkansas. Ornithologists flocked to the area but were unable to prove conclusively that the woodpecker exists.

U.S. District Judge William R. Wilson said that, for purposes of the lawsuit, he had to presume the woodpecker exists in that area. He said federal agencies may have violated the Endangered Species Act by not studying the habitat fully.

"When an endangered species is allegedly jeopardized, the balance of hardships and public interest tips in favor of the protected species," Wilson wrote. "Here there is evidence the IBW may be jeopardized."

At the same time, aquifers beneath eastern Arkansas soybean, cotton and rice fields have become less reliable water sources. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers last year began construction on the Grand Prairie Irrigation Project, 14 miles from where the bird was spotted.

By ANDREW DeMILLO, Associated Press Writer

Watch That Weight!

2006-07-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

Is obesity a sin? If so, should overweight people even be allowed to get married? Are there only thin folks in Heaven?

More Cell Phone Madness

2006-07-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

If you have read by blog for any amount of time, you have probably discovered that I have little patience for gratuitous cell phone usage. I've seen people on their phones in the strangest places, but what I saw Monday evening takes the cake.

I had come to an intersection and I was a few cars back. As I inched forward, my gaze wandered to the park on my left where an adult softball team from a local league was practicing. It turned out that I was in the right place and the right time. Just as I turned my head, the batter hit a grounder to the third-baseman. The third-baseman scooped up the ball with his glove while seemingly never missing a beat in the conversation he was having on his cell phone.

Yes, you read that correctly.

A cell phone was in his right hand and held to his ear as he bent over to field the grounder. He even tossed the ball back to the pitcher with his gloved hand.

I found these 10 Commandments of cell phone usage, but there is no mention of leaving the phone at home before running onto the ball field. Looks like we need a #11.

1. Thou shalt not subject defenseless others to cell phone conversations. When people cannot escape the banality of your conversation, such as on the bus, in a cab, on a grounded airplane, or at the dinner table, you should spare them. People around you should have the option of not listening. If they don't, you shouldn't be babbling.

2. Thou shalt not set thy ringer to play La Cucaracha every time thy phone rings. Or Beethoven's Fifth, or the Bee Gees, or any other annoying melody. Is it not enough that phones go off every other second? Now we have to listen to synthesized nonsense?

3. Thou shalt turn thy cell phone off during public performances. I'm not even sure this one needs to be said, but given the repeated violations of this heretofore unwritten law, I felt compelled to include it.

4. Thou shalt not wear more than two wireless devices on thy belt. This hasn't become a big problem yet. But with plenty of techno-jockeys sporting pagers and phones, Batman-esque utility belts are sure to follow. Let's nip this one in the bud.

5. Thou shalt not dial while driving. In all seriousness, this madness has to stop. There are enough people in the world who have problems mastering vehicles and phones individually. Put them together and we have a serious health hazard on our hands.

6. Thou shalt not wear thy earpiece when thou art not on thy phone. This is not unlike being on the phone and carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. No one knows if you are here or there. Very disturbing.

7. Thou shalt not speak louder on thy cell phone than thou would on any other phone. These things have incredibly sensitive microphones, and it's gotten to the point where I can tell if someone is calling me from a cell because of the way they are talking, not how it sounds. If your signal cuts out, speaking louder won't help, unless the person is actually within earshot.

8. Thou shalt not grow too attached to thy cell phone. For obvious reasons, a dependency on constant communication is not healthy. At work, go nuts. At home, give it a rest.

9. Thou shalt not attempt to impress with thy cell phone. Not only is using a cell phone no longer impressive in any way (unless it's one of those really cool new phones with the space age design), when it is used for that reason, said user can be immediately identified as a neophyte and a poseur.

10. Thou shalt not slam thy cell phone down on a restaurant table just in case it rings. This is not the Old West, and you are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon. Could you please be a little less conspicuous? If it rings, you'll hear it just as well if it's in your coat pocket or clipped on your belt.

Can't You Wait Until You Get Home?

2006-07-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't seen this:

NBA Player Chokes Chicken and Crashes SUV

Bring the Noise

2006-07-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's that time of year again.

Independence Day is the day we celebrate our Declaration of Independence. It's a day on which we should indeed cheer, shout and fondly remember the "shot heard 'round the world". Break out out those grills and cook up hamburgers and hot dogs to your heart's content.

Of course many in our fair nation view as just another day off work (or a extra long weekend this year) and probably fail to realize the sacrifices made by our Founding Fathers. Everyone whose name was on that Declaration of Indpendence was a traitor and faced a punishment of death. Would current members of Congress have the courage to sign their own death warrant in the name of liberty? Would Cynthia McKinney be the first in line to help guarantee your freedom? Would former Exalted Cyclops Robert Byrd face the hangman's noose? Something tells me these people would do nothing that was not a direct benefit to themselves.

How far would you go to preserve liberty?

Self-Righteousness

2006-06-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

If the spirit of Christ is moving you towards self-righteousness and intolerance, perhaps it's not Christ that is moving you at all. Perhaps it is for your own ego and not to glorify God.

Does Jesus really want our minds to be so narrowed by his word that we lose respect for others?

When we recite The Apostles Creed, we state:

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.

Note: catholic refers to the universal church and not the Roman Catholic chuch.. just in case you were wondering.

If we truly believe in the forgiveness of sins, why do we treat sinners with such indignity?

The Sounds of Silence

2006-06-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention that speaking of intolerance will not be tolerated so I removed my intolerance posting.

Table Manners

2006-06-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Friday evening, I was blindsided by sheer intolerance and the complete lack of respect for the dinner table and it's guests by one of those sitting at the table. Debate is something I always welcome, but not over dinner. The dinner table is where we eat, drink, and be merry.

The next time you consider provoking an argument and offending everyone around you, please try and wait until after dessert.

Well.. that's it.

2006-05-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

TinyElvis, meet end-of-rope. End-of-rope, this is Tiny Elvis.

Happy Memorial Day

2006-05-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

Never in the history of the world has any soldier sacrificed more for the freedom and liberty of total strangers than the American soldier. And, our soldiers don't just give freedom abroad, they preserve it for us here at home.

For it has been said so truthfully that it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag who gives that protester the freedom he abuses to burn that flag.

-Zell Miller

The Religion of Peace

2006-05-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

Oh yes.. Islam. The religion of peace, understanding and love of your fellow man.

Badges for Christians and Jews in Iran

Like Hitler was thought to be and Hussein is portrayed to be, I assume this Iranian ass-clown isn't a threat either.

DNA Studies

2006-05-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Science Declares Human / Chimp Split was a Messy Divorce

Cool.

Now what I want to know is how long ago did human and plant species diverge? How awkward it must have been when first a bipedal hominid began to view plants as food rather than as relatives.

Congressional Clowns

2006-05-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

Why can't these clowns find a real issue to worry about?

Congress May Clamp Down on MySpace

I'm sure their reasoning lies somewhere between promote the general welfare and provide for the common defense.

We cannot tighten up our southern border, but we must tighten up that there internet. Oh well.. it's in the name of "protecting children", so it must be ok. Right? Right?

Someone please come pound me over the head with a wet noodle.

More Gym Insanity

2006-05-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

After my routine of cardio and weight training, I finish it all off with a little ab work. Nothing major, just a few sets of various exercises on the ab benches.

At my gym (24 Hour Fitness) there is a row of about six of these machines upstairs. Most of the time a machine (is that even the right word?) is readily available but tonight was a different story. I patiently did some stretching while waiting for my turn on one of these six-pack producers.

After a few minutes, all the machines were still in use by the same people. On closer inspection, I found the root of the bottleneck. Two young ladies were using this time to lay on their ab benches and yap on their cell phones. Not just while resting, but as they were exercising as well. I even witnessed one of them DIALING while in the middle of her ab "workout". Yes, as she was crunching up and down, she was actually dialing the phone.

More and more, I am noticing that some people cannot do anything without something glued to their ear. I see people in restaurants with their Bluetooth headset on. I see people walking around the block with a ear-buds jammed into their head. Now I see girls on the ab bench telling her friend all about the cute guy she saw at the store.

When did we as a society lose our common sense? Is etiquette something we have to be taught or is it a natural instinct in humans? I don't recall my mother ever sitting me down and telling me that one day there will an invention called the cell phone and that I should refrain from using it in every public place that I happen to find myself.

Maybe I'm just a crotchety, old fart of a man.

As you were.

May 1st 2006

2006-05-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

What more can be said in regards to the protesting by scores of human debris here in our country illegally? Someone please tell them to keep it up. Their true colors are starting to shine through for all to easily see.

Where have I been?

2006-04-24T07:49:00.001-07:00

The answer to that question is nowhere.

I cannot fathom the anguish that the throngs of you who check this blog daily must be feeling over my lack of recent commentary. I hope that you will accept my sincerest apologies. Long hours at the office and house painting have drained my creative juices to an all time low.

Keep that faith! I shall return soon.

Paint the House

2006-04-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

I've been painting again. Not some fabulous works of art but painting the interior walls of my fashionable east side condo. My home has been a cornucopia of color over the past 4 years with each room having it's own flavor and personality. Unfortunately, with the addition of new wood flooring and carpet those personalities stopped getting along as well as they used to.

My Epic Blue, Green Tea, Ice Gray, Ripe Peach, Red, Bridgewater Blue, and Bone are now faded memories. They have been replaced with muted, earth-tone and more modern colors. Maybe it's not as exciting as it was once was, but it does give a slightly more upscale and elegant feel to the place. It also give a deeper sense of unity. Instead of each room battling it out for attention, they are now all working together to provide a harmonious and relaxing experience for all those who enter the gates of my mini-Graceland.

Look out Orange County, there's new paint in town!

A Shit Sundae?

2006-04-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Preston Taylor Holmes pulls no punches in his latest column over on Six Meat Buffet.

Get to the doctor! Quickly!

2006-04-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Funny headline:

New Red, Blue Rings Found Around Uranus

Turn-out Much Smaller Than Anticipated..

2006-04-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well, the big Costa Mesa illegal alien rally seemed to be a bust. While they were expecting 5000, only an estimated 1200 showed up. It seemed that a little rain kept these passionate 'freedom fighters' at home. The OC Register blamed the small crowd on the 'morning downpour'. This morning downpour was an actually an extremely light drizzle. Perhaps their movement isn't as popular as we would be led to believe?

The most upsetting part of the whole demonstration was the fact that public safety was brushed aside in a effort to give these clowns a place to gather and chant. The police station and fire station are directly behind city hall. However, the entire intersection was barricaded in all three directions. If there had been a police or fire emergency, a few extra minutes would had to have been taken in order to clear the crowd and remove the barricades so that the emergency vehicles could get by. Hasn't the mantra always been that seconds save lives? The lives of legal, tax-paying Costa Mesa citizens are apparently nowhere near as important as the ones of those here illegally.

My neighbor remarked the other day that if "they weren't here, all of southern California would shut down". Is that not the most ridiculously stupid thing you have ever heard? It is that kind of misinformed and defeatist attitude that exacerbates this growing threat to the American way of life.

Seeing red..

2006-03-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

The intersection down the street from me is being closed tommorrow morning for three hours to allow for an "immigration rally".

We can't have Christian reglious displays on public property, but an intersection can be closed down for hours in support of a bunch of illegal aliens?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!??

I'll be down there tommorrow with my American flag and my loud voice. WIsh me luck.

No, This Isn't YOUR Land

2006-03-29T21:15:00.000-08:00

Congress are a bunch of spineless cowards. When a very small percentage of the population (most of whom are ineligible to vote because they are too young or too illegal) can sway Congress' ability to make sound judgements, we have a serious problem. Somewhere over the past few days, we have gone from the potential of being charged with a felony for being in the country illegally to once again being the possible beneficiary of a guest-worker program.

For weeks, Spanish-speaking media in the United States have been organizing these protest rallys we have seen over the past few days. These responsible organizations have encouraged students to skip class and take to the streets to fight for their family's freedom. The formerly broad line between being a legal immigrant and an illegal alien has been successfully blurred and obfuscated by those with an agenda that favors everyone but the citizens of the United States (or so they think).

What would happen if a guest-worker program was inacted and the border remained as loosely guarded as it is now? It's simple economics. First off, the illegal alien workforce would become more diluted and drive down their already low earning potential. Secondly, the guest-workers would not be able to find work because those companies already breaking the law will probably continue to break the law and higher illegal aliens. If CEO John Doe has a history of hiring illegals and now has the choice of hiring a guest-worker that he will have to pay at least minium wage plus social security taxes or picking from a pool of illegals, who do you think he will pick?

All these people are doing is turning the majority of American citizens against them. Their ranting and raving will only cause more of us to begin to look negatively on ANY kind of immigration (including legal) from the southern border.

Stupidity..

2006-03-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

More angry Mexicans in the USA..

I have nothing to add. It speaks for itself.

Look a'yonder coming..

2006-03-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

.. coming down that railroad track.

Has everyone heard about the deaf beauty queen who was hit by a train?

Why on Earth would a deaf person take a leisurely stroll down the railroad tracks?

"She was a beautiful, bright, young deaf woman.."

Beautiful maybe but bright? C'mon. Deaf... railroad tracks... train. Hello!? Can you hear me now?! No, I guess not.

And the Fat Get Fatter..

2006-03-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

Cigarettes are bad for you.

Coffee is bad for you.

Alcohol is bad for you.

But wait! The sugary goodness known as soda is in no way addictive and the idea that it in any way contributes to obesity is completely laughable according to Richard Adamson, a senior science consultant to the American Beverage Association.

"I think that's laughable.. lack of exercise and poor eating habits are far bigger contributors to America's weight woes."

What's laugable is the fact that this boob does not consider the consumption of sugar-laden, calorie-heavy soft drinks as part of a poor diet.

Cardinal Mahoney and the Art of Politics

2006-03-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

Cardinal Mahoney, leader of the nation's largest Roman Catholic archdiocese, has officially withdrawn his hands from the pants of hundreds of young boys in the southern California area and is now using those same hands to stir the political pot of illegal immigration.

The good Cardinal continues to blur the lines of legal immigration and illegals from Mexico pouring over the border into California. He even has the nerve to slap our ancestors right in the mouth with his comparison of their legal migration to the United States to those who intentionally subvert the system. Our ancestors who wanted to become American citizens and build a new life for their families are nothing more than fodder for his twisted rhetoric and political agenda. Once again, those of us who oppose the rampant siphoning of resources that it takes to support this unlawful populace are accused of harboring feeling of rascim while being completely devoid of compassion.

I find all this talk of compassion completely ironic coming from a man who has made a career of defending those who sexual exploits began in the Sunday school classrooms of their churches.

Washing Dishes

2006-03-01T21:58:00.000-08:00

Apparently, my upstairs neighbor LOVES his dishwasher. Does anyone else run their damn dishwasher every single day? Do gay men get their dishes dirtier than we straight folks?

Mardi Gras

2006-02-27T11:42:00.000-08:00

Preston Taylor Holmes chimes in with his Mardi Gras observations over at Six Meat Buffet.

Roasted Penis

2006-02-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

Not officially roasted, but it sounded like a good title.

Nuke it!

It's almost like the beginning of a joke:

"A man walks into a convenience store carrying a penis in a paper towel..."

I love this quote:

"It's just the nature of the beast."

What is? A penis getting microwaved in this town? Or, was he referring to the penis itself as the "beast"?

The story did state that it came "tumbling" out of the microwave when the door was opened. That does sound rather beast-like. If the penis wasn't the beast, how could it have possibly tumbled? I've heard of tumbling tumbleweeds, but never a tumbling penis. Oh well...

Nature calls. I've gotta take the "beast" to the restroom. Have a pleasant Friday.

I'm Confused Again

2006-02-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

President Bush and company are catching hell for the sea port fiasco.

While I agree that the criticism is warranted, I cannot help but wonder why the American people (especially the Democrats) are not giving him a big 'ol pat on the back. Isn't he simply following the lead of former Vice-President Algore by trying to strengthen the bond between the United States and the Middle Eastern countries? I would think that he (the President) would be commended for adhering to the policies of our truly elected President by widening "the channels of friendship and mutual understanding".

Will someone please enlighten me on this seemingly odd twist of public reaction?

New Headshots

2006-02-21T12:44:00.000-08:00

The headshots of my cast of characters are getting old so I will be updating them over the next few days (don't let me forget).

The first update belongs to Jaclyn. Click the link to your right and enjoy a fresh shot of her smiling face.

Gas Is Not Expensive Enough

2006-02-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

How out of touch is this guy?

Arnold Wants To Fight Warming in Cow-Wee-Fornia

For the record, I did not vote for this character. I voted for an actual Republican, state Senator Tom McClintock.

Happy birthday to me.

Benedict Algore

2006-02-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

This is pretty strange talk from someone who once wrote that the internal combustion engine is the greatest enemy to mankind and the environment, then expressed his desire to rid the world of these evil machines.

I would think that someone who so hates the internal combusion engine would also despise the great purveyors of the blood that gives the engine it's life. Apparently, I am incorrect. Algore simply hates the United States.

America is bad, bad, bad!

Can you believe that half of our country voted for this treasonous fool? Even Benedict Arnold would be embarrassed.

The Irony of Bottled Water

2006-02-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

Ah.

Finally a news story that backs up when I've been saying for years (it usually takes a while for the world to catch up to me. :-) )

Bottled Water Taxing the World's Ecosystem

The irony rests in the fact that it usually it's some "eco-friendly" liberal sucking down their damn bottled water without giving a second thought to the fact that it uses energy to make the bottles, burns oil to transport the bottled water, and uses landfill space when they get tossed in the trash.

In the United States, we have the luxury of having some of the cleanest water in all the world coming right from the tap and some people still insist on wasting their hard-earned dollars on bottled water.

It makes about as much sense as buying pet food.

Worn Out

2006-02-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

I wish that I had something really insightful to say, but I don't. Many deep and insightful thoughts are swimming in my head but any attempt to put them to keyboard would be pointless right now.

In the meantime, go listen to the new Ryan Adams:

29

Have a pleasant evening.

Iraq Update

2006-02-01T08:36:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting perspective on Iraq:

Facts vs Fiction: A Report From the Front

I know that it's probably not as important as Bob Woodruff's injury, but please try and indulge yourself with a little backpage news.

Grand Theft Auto

2006-01-27T12:24:00.000-08:00

The Los Angeles district attorney has no problem with "murder, drug-dealing and pimping" via video game but some hidden "explicit sexual acts" are cause for alarm. If he had known THAT was in there, he would have insisted that the game get an 'adult' rating. A little murder and pimping only merits a 'mature' rating.

Grand Theft Auto Slapped With Lawsuit

How ironic.

NFL: Yearly Coaching Carousel

2006-01-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

It's getting towards the end of January and that means two things for the NFL:

1) The Super Bowl is right around the corner
2) Racism is on display regarding coaching hires

At the end of almost every season, the doormats of the NFL fire their head coach and go in search of another "right man for the job" to lead their franchise to Super Bowl glory. And right on the heels of these new hirings, the charges of racism began to emerge from pointy-headed sports writers and self-appointed "leaders" in the black community. According to these fine folks, not enough minority coaches are being hired to fill head-coaching vacancies.

Their argument is completely illogical and fraught with stupidity.

I have always made the contention that racism is simply bad for business and that is never more true than in the world of sports. A sports franchise exists for one reason only: to win. Winning means money. Everyone may love the game, but (like any other business) if you are not making money you will not be in business very long. Are we supposed to believe that such deep-rooted racism exists among NFL owners and general managers that a qualified minority candidate would be intentionaly passed over for a less qualified white candidate? How absurd does that sound? Regardless of ones personal beliefs, would they really choose to forego success in order to maintain their racist agenda? Of course not.

The NFL has chosen to handle this problem by insisting that at least one minority candidate is interviewed for every head coaching vacancy (smells like a quota, huh?). The NFL is a private organization and they can run it as they seem fit, but to me this only exacerbates the issue. It's telling minority coaches that you are not good enough to get an interview on your own, so we will force the hand of your prospective employer. The sad fact is that this rule has made it more difficult to hire a minority head coach as some minority coaches have declined interview offers because they do not want to be the token minority interview.

Would you rather have a job interview based on your glowing resume or based on a quota system? Unfortunately, the NFL has choosen to throw dignity and respect out the door in favor of social experimentation.

Cutting the Cord

2006-01-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

I just saved $16.39 per month.

I just took another step into a wireless future.

Today I called SBC and gleefully disconnected my land telephone line.

After several months of nearly zero activity, it was time to let the old fellow go. My home telephone only rang under the following conditions:

1. Telemarketer calling
2. Pablo calling for Enrico
3. Tommy Coleman had once again confused my celluar and home telephone number

As I enter this brave, new world armed only with a cellular number, I cannot help but feel a bit eco-friendly. One less envelope will be dropped in the mail each month. One less bill will be thrown away and added to some landfill somewhere. Less data will be jamming the information superhighway as there will be one less online bill payment originating from my PC. Besides, my home looks neater without those relics of centuries past cluttering up the place.

To infinity and beyond!

So.. What Is He Trying To Say?

2006-01-16T21:44:00.000-08:00

If any one of the number of Conservative radio hosts or political figures had made the following statements, there would be rallys, calls for resignations, rioting, concerts for unity, and never-ending debate on racism in white America.

By BRETT MARTEL
Associated Press Writer

Mayor Ray Nagin suggested Monday that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and other storms were a sign that "God is mad at America" and at black communities, too, for tearing themselves apart with violence and political infighting.

"Surely God is mad at America. He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it's destroyed and put stress on this country," Nagin, who is black, said as he and other city leaders marked Martin Luther King Day.

"Surely he doesn't approve of us being in Iraq under false pretenses. But surely he is upset at black America also. We're not taking care of ourselves."

Nagin also promised that New Orleans will be a "chocolate" city again. Many of the city's black neighborhoods were heavily damaged by Katrina.

"It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans _ the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans," the mayor said. "This city will be a majority African American city. It's the way God wants it to be. You can't have New Orleans no other way. It wouldn't be New Orleans."

Caring Too Much

2006-01-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I care too much.

Sometimes, I would like to be one of those guys that didn't care.

"Yeah? Oh well.. whatever..."

That would be good.

I would be less stressed.

I would cause others less stress.

Life would be much simpler.

"Hey Tiny! YOUR HEAD IS ON FIRE!"

"Yeah? Oh well.. whatever!"

I like it.

Check Engine Light

2006-01-10T22:15:00.000-08:00

While moonlighting as a furniture deliveryman in Coto De Caza over the weekend, the 'check engine' light in my sporty Mazda 3 came on. As my car is 2 years old with a mere 12,000 miles, this unexpected disturbance came as a quite a shock.

When I came to a stop, I fetched my user guide from the spacious glove compartment ('glove'.. ha! You can fit a 10 gallon hat in there!). Section 5-35 informed me that the check engine light could mean one of the following (in this order):

1. The gas cap might not be on tightly
2. The electrical system could be malfunctioning
3. The emission system could be malfunctioning
4. The car could very low on gas

I just love it when a manual goes into such specific detail in pinpointing excatly what a problem may be.

"Hey! There may something wrong with your car having to do with something!"

The next morning, the 'check engine' light was off, so I called the service department at the dealership.

"Good morning, Mazda service department."

"Good morning. Yesterday my check-engine light came on while driving, but this morning it is no longer illuminated."

"Yeah, you're gas cap must not have been on tight."

"I read in the manual that was one of the possible scenarios, but it came on while driving so I am fairly certain that it was not the gas cap. Should I bring it by to get checked out?"

"No. You're ok."

Sigh.

While Kelley's expert diagnosis over the telephone was indeed impressive, it did not give the comfort level that I had hoped to achieve when I made the call. Now I am left wondering if I should make an appointment to take the car in or just wait until my next oil change and let them know that the 'check engine' light came on for a few hours six weeks ago.

Happy New Year Charlie Brown

2006-01-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

It's 2006 and I am just not too thrilled.

Unlike most people, I don't see the beginning of each year as a time of renewal and hope. I see it as the bottom of the ladder (a very rickety ladder) that you have to climb slowly rung by rung in hopes of making it to the top without spilling your can of paint. And when you finally get there, you accidently stand on the rung that reads "not a step", plummet back down to the bottom, dust yourself off and start all over again.

To me, Christmas is the climax of the year. Everything after Christmas is just filler until Christmas rolls around again (ok, maybe football season). You know how you read about people being depressed before Christmas? My depression begins on Christmas night. I begin asking myself the big questions, thinking about my mortality, and regretting that another year has passed in which I feel that I did not accomplish anything truly fulfilling.

This has been particularly evident this past week. The day after Christmas, I started getting an uneasy feeling which worsened as the week wore on. By Friday, I actually began to feel sick to my stomach. My mind was waging war against itself and flooding with thoughts of failure and shortcomings.

Sometimes I find it impossible to enjoy the moment because I am too wrapped up in what may happen. Even though I always seem to land on my feet, I don't always remember how I managed that smooth landing. Is it instinct? Faith in God? Pure luck?

Not knowing how I got to where I am is frustrating. I've lived my life by the seat of my pants, taking advantage of opportunities as they presented themselves to me.

I never had a master plan.

I never sat down and made a list.

Here I am, almost 35 years old, and I don't have a plan for my life! I am still waiting on something big to happen. I am still waiting to make my mark on the world. I am still waiting to find my passion and capitalize on it.

Maybe 2006 will be the year that everything suddenly makes sense. My eyes will be opened and my purpose on Earth will be made clear.

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Keep Your Butt Out of My Face

2005-12-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

There are few things that bug me more than some fool throwing his or her cigarette butt out of their car window.

I do not smoke but I have no problem with those that do and I'll continue to defend their right to do so. However, my patience begins to wear very thin when I continually see this occur (as if a cigarette butt isn't real litter).

Smokers be warned. If you keep throwing your damn butts out the window, I will be forced to turn against you. Think about it.

Bonus Pay For The Saints

2005-12-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

The NFL is giving $40,000 bonuses to all players on the New Orleans Saints as compensation for their great suffering due to hurricane Katrina. These poor millionaire football players had to play all their games on the road this year because of damage to the Super Dome.

Bless their hearts. $40,000 hardly seems fitting for enduring such great emotional trauma and stress. I hope that this small token of appreciation somehow eases their pain.

The NFL should be giving $40,000 to every fan of the New Orleans Saints for having to endure 4 decades of horrible football.

NEW ORLEANS (AP) -- New Orleans Saints players will get a $40,000 bonus from the NFL and the NFL Players Association for "performing under unusual and unanticipated conditions arising from the Hurricane Katrina tragedy."

The bonus applies to every Saints player who has been on the roster for the entire season, including inactive players, practice squad members and those on injured reserve, the team said Wednesday in a statement. Players on the roster for less than the full season will receive $2,350 for each week on the roster.

The payments will be funded using the performance-based pay system normally geared to playing time and salary, which is part of the NFL collective bargaining agreement.

Following Hurricane Katrina in August, the Saints moved to San Antonio and have played most of their home games in the Alamodome and Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge.

Lori's Christmas Party

2005-12-12T21:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday night, I attended the 4th annual Christmas Gala at Lori's House. Here are a couple of pictures.

Enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

The Joy of Christmas

2005-12-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh.. Christmas!

Christmas time is here. The air is nice and crisp, the Christmas Jazz CD is in regular rotation at my home and the enlightened non-Christians are busy telling us what Christmas is "really all about" and what it "really means".

In my very best non-Christmas way, I ask you to please SHUT THE F*#% UP!!!

I'm TinyElvis and I approve this message.

No Focus and No Creativity

2005-12-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

My blog postings have gotten really generic and boring. It is almost as if the part of my brain that controls my ability to write witty and inspired paragraphs has taken a vacation (perhaps it's trying to get the rest of me to come along for the ride).

It doesn't help matters that my girlfriend teaches writing/composition at a local college. I never know when my writing might fall under her strict scrutiny. Not that she would ever "grade" my posts, but I still feel compelled to impress her with everything I do.

I suppose that is just the nature of the male. Much like apes in the jungle pounding their chests or a peacock spreading it's ass-feathers (I don't know the technical term), all we men want is a little recognition from the women who love us. Jaclyn does a very good job at continually making me feel needed and important. Bless her heart.

Should I just continue to rattle on and on about the excruciating minutia of every day life, or should I only post when I have something interesting to say? Lately it's been the latter because I have been unable to even relate those daily observations in an entertaining manner.

Sigh. The tortured soul of the creative.

As you were.

8 Years

2005-11-30T22:08:00.000-08:00

8 years.

2920 days.

As of today, that is how long I have lived in California. It's my anniversary.

When I left Memphis in 1997, I didn't know what to expect with my move. I was really on the fence about it until a friend gave me this sage advice: "Just try it. Give it a year. If you don't like it, you can always move back. I'll still be here.".

Well I certainly have tried it. To the tune of nearly a decade. Looking back, it was quite a ballsy move for a 26 year old. I didn't feel so young at that time, but now 26 certainly sounds like a mere child. It never was my idea to move. A close friend of mine (at the time) was a wanna-be actor (as was I). He used to always suggest that we move to Calfornia and become famous. We were two of the best actors at the acting school we attended so we should just knock 'em dead once we get to California (yeah right).

This went on for several months and then fate intervened. The company where I worked was closing it's doors. I looked online for jobs in southern California and saw an ad for a company called StarBase. What the hell, I thought. It can't hurt to send a resume. A couple of weeks later, I was on a plane to Orange County for an interview. 4 weeks later, I had moved. 4 months later, my friend joined me and as you have probably guessed at this point, neither of us are famous actors. Oh he gave it a good shot. As for me, I was too busy with work. Besides, acting just wasn't my passion (even though I was pretty good).

In the 8 years that I have lived here, I have gone from computer programmer to part-owner of my own business. I have played in 4 bands. I have had two girlfriends. I have been sued. I purchased a condo. I have been to Vegas 4 times. I have made friends and lost friends. I have been to 6 weddings. I have learned to golf. I have fallen in love. I have had my heart broken. I have learned to like sushi.

I haven't learned how to surf. I haven't been skiing. I never go to Hollywood. I've only gotten in the ocean once. Not that I really want to do any of these things but I figured I had to mention them.

All in all, I suppose that it has been a good 8 years. Of course there have been ups and downs, but this is the path life has lead me down and I have tried to make the most of it. For the most part, I feel that I have done a pretty good job.

8 years from now, I will be 42. If the next 8 years go by like these have, it will be here in the blink of an eye.

I'd better get busy.